Say something about gay babies.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
