So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
