Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
