I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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