So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
