I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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