hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
