i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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