put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize