im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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