How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
