he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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