You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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