We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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