Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
