This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i will never coherently bang her
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
