real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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