i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
