69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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