I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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