If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
