We're like a lot better than the average bears
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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