piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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