so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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