I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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