very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So vagazzling was a success
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
