It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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