I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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