It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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