In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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