Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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