great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
