I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
