Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
