I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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