He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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