i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize