I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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