dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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