i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
last night I used snow as a chaser
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
