I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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