id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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