Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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