My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
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You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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