you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
