why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
