we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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