This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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