she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize