i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
