I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
