He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
