That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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