I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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