Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
