There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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