We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
