Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
