I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Quick, to the slutcave!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Holy sore nipples Batman
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
