I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
im calling her cock vulture from now on
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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