Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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