: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
